Life is Tough

After almost 2 months in Happy Valley (I've learnt that the name only applies to certain groups of people), I'm starting to stress out BIG time about my ability to continue in grad school for 5 years. Things are ambiguous, and I have so many things to concentrate on at one time. But, I've also learnt the importance of giving and receiving support from your peers, how it warms you up inside when someone else notices your opinions and comments and gives you good feedback on it.

Every Monday 8.45 to 11.45am, I have Personnel Selection and Appraisals Seminar. What we do is read in advance and come to class prepared to discuss the material and related topics for 3 hours. This I feel is the hardest class I've ever taken in my education career. I struggle every week to force myself to speak in class, to talk about validity tests, about measurement issues, error in sampling etc (basically things i know very little about). Participation in class is a freaking 40% of my grade. WTF. So I HAVE TO HAVE TO speak up.

Anyone who knows me knows I have difficulty voicing my thoughts in public. Even though most of the time what I have to say is relevant and correct. But I'm usually too intimidated to say it. So you can imagine how hard it is for me in this class in front of a professor who is FAMOUS in the field and 11 other intelligent students.

But I'm getting better at it though, partly because I'm getting used to speaking and partly because everytime we first years speak up, we first years will support each other. We know we're the under-ducklings. It feels so good, to see heads nodding when you're giving an opinion (trying to be coherent and intelligent-sounding at the same time). SO GOOD! You feel for few seconds that HEY i'm not that stupid...maybe someone thinks its a good idea. And most of the time, Anne will be the one nodding. THANK you!! And she tries to help me explain my thoughts too at times when my professor doesn't get it. *rolls my eyes*

So...because I know how important it is to hear encouraging words sometimes, I would like to give some words of encouragement to my friends and those who read my blog:

Chia: Just 2 more years and you can get the hell out of that company to somewhere you'll be more interested in!

AnnA: Good luck in your job search! I know you can do it.

SEAN: you are one of the most optimistic person I've met. your optimism will take you places :)

MG: Just finish your PHD!!!!

Irene: You will score so high in your GREs you'll be surprised at the rate you're studying

CK: appreciate what you have now *wink*

:)

Damn "Bandar"

Richards, J. C., & Tay, M. J. (1977). The la particle in Singapore English. In W. Crewe (Ed.), The English language in Singapore (pp. 14 1-156). Singapore: Eastern Universities Press.

The above reference was taken from an article about sexual harassment perception among different ethnic groups in Singapore. LOL. Someone actually studied the la particle in Singlish???? How funny is that??? HahAHAHhahahHHAHah

okay, maybe i'm a nerd after all. :p

Ooohhh and on a side note, I went apple-picking last Sunday with Chia. Fun FUn! We went to Stribling Orchard, just a 40 min drive out of Manassas. We were like super city-sleekers man when we arrived. We didn't know what to do! Were we supposed to bring baskets? How do we pick the apples? With our hands? Must we climb the trees? Where to go??? Aarghhh....the trees look scaryyyyyyyyy!!!! Hahaha. INSECTSSSS get OFF me!!!

But after the initial awkwardness, it was actually fun. how i wished I had an apple orchard or for that matter, any orchard to run and play when i was younger. chia, hahahaha on the other hand never managed to get over his dislike for the trees and grassss and muddddd!

and i was like a little kid in a candy store at the orchard's shop. i bought apple cider, sparkling apple cider, pear jam. i would have bought more if it wasn't for chia standing around looking bored. hmmph. but the cider is yummyyyyy! and the pear jam too. :)))))

i showed this video clip to one of my friends and he said it sounds like a Malaysian Creed. Hmmph...i don't think so!


Disagree - Crumbs

Systolic: 100

Geramnyaaaa............

I'm destined to meet people that will test my patience. DESTINED. What with classes, Ta-ing, research meetings, grading, etc i really really cannot afford to deal with this right now :( You out there, stop ordering me around! I'm not your servant....phei yuan even said i looked so submissive around her....WHY OH WHY DO I LET HER DO THAT TO ME????

Sighhhhhh

I'm sufferring from imposter syndrome. They made a mistake with the application! I'm not supposed to be here, I don't belong here. I just sit in a corner pretending to understand the concepts that they articulate so well. ARGH. Stresssnyaaaa.....i dunno how to come up with a new way of validating a selection procedure? How am I supposed to know? If it's that easy, experienced researchers would have thought of it by now!!! and Gnuplot...DAMN YOU. I have to do coding for my stats class. C-O-D-I-N-G. Can you imagine me doing coding???? Suchuen doing coding? Unbelievable. Haha

Blood pressure naik :( hit a record high of 100. never ever in my life have i reached a 100. my seniors welcomed me to grad school after hearing about it. Sorry about the depressed entry....SUM Of my life after 4 weeks here. Gone are the initial highs and now the lows start creeping in like a lapping wave...