Life is Tough

After almost 2 months in Happy Valley (I've learnt that the name only applies to certain groups of people), I'm starting to stress out BIG time about my ability to continue in grad school for 5 years. Things are ambiguous, and I have so many things to concentrate on at one time. But, I've also learnt the importance of giving and receiving support from your peers, how it warms you up inside when someone else notices your opinions and comments and gives you good feedback on it.

Every Monday 8.45 to 11.45am, I have Personnel Selection and Appraisals Seminar. What we do is read in advance and come to class prepared to discuss the material and related topics for 3 hours. This I feel is the hardest class I've ever taken in my education career. I struggle every week to force myself to speak in class, to talk about validity tests, about measurement issues, error in sampling etc (basically things i know very little about). Participation in class is a freaking 40% of my grade. WTF. So I HAVE TO HAVE TO speak up.

Anyone who knows me knows I have difficulty voicing my thoughts in public. Even though most of the time what I have to say is relevant and correct. But I'm usually too intimidated to say it. So you can imagine how hard it is for me in this class in front of a professor who is FAMOUS in the field and 11 other intelligent students.

But I'm getting better at it though, partly because I'm getting used to speaking and partly because everytime we first years speak up, we first years will support each other. We know we're the under-ducklings. It feels so good, to see heads nodding when you're giving an opinion (trying to be coherent and intelligent-sounding at the same time). SO GOOD! You feel for few seconds that HEY i'm not that stupid...maybe someone thinks its a good idea. And most of the time, Anne will be the one nodding. THANK you!! And she tries to help me explain my thoughts too at times when my professor doesn't get it. *rolls my eyes*

So...because I know how important it is to hear encouraging words sometimes, I would like to give some words of encouragement to my friends and those who read my blog:

Chia: Just 2 more years and you can get the hell out of that company to somewhere you'll be more interested in!

AnnA: Good luck in your job search! I know you can do it.

SEAN: you are one of the most optimistic person I've met. your optimism will take you places :)

MG: Just finish your PHD!!!!

Irene: You will score so high in your GREs you'll be surprised at the rate you're studying

CK: appreciate what you have now *wink*

:)